No awards season would be complete without The Onion pointing out how silly the whole affair can be, and so America’s Finest News Source has once again taken it upon itself to do just that. This year’s guide to the Oscars is especially biting, and Rami Malek has gotten the worst of it: “For ‘Bohemian Rhapsody,'” the Best Actor guide reads, “Rami Malek deeply immersed himself in the role of a man who knows nothing about Bryan Singer’s pedophilia allegations.” Ouch.
Singer, who was removed from the film but retains sole credit as director, has been accused of molesting several underage boys. Malek and everyone else involved in the Freddie Mercury biopic have been reluctant to address those allegations, with the very likely soon-to-be Oscar winner claiming last month that he “was not aware” of them.
One of Malek’s competitors in the Best Actor field doesn’t get off lightly, either: “The biggest challenge on the set of ‘A Star Is Born’ for Bradley Cooper was the difficulty of creating great acting while working under a middling director,” the guide says.
Other highlights: describing “BlacKkKlansman” as “an accurate portrayal of the struggles of many police officers serving on the force and in the KKK at the same time,” claiming that “after a decade of lingering in experimental obscurity, [Yorgos Lanthimos] wised up and directed a film about British royalty in the 18th century,” and pointing out that “with seven nominations and no wins, [Glenn Close] currently holds the record for the most cut-to reaction shots of her pretending to look happy for other people
The full guide has thoughts on every Best Picture, Director, Actor, and Actress nominee. Read it here.